The world is right

The change of perspective needed to heal is to acknowledge that the exterior is right. "In the fight between you and the world, back the world." (Kafka). It's just that: it makes no sense to change the world because the world is already perfect as it is.

"Do not be angry, one day the world will do without you."

"It takes X muscles to smile, to be angry Y, X < Y, then it is best to smile."

All of these everyday phrases, are there to undermine the perception of being important to the world. In reality we are all unique, irreplaceable, and this is true. But this does not mean that the world needs us and we need to do something for the world.

The only thing really necessary for the world is to be ourselves. It is here, however, that there is the greatest difficulty, because being yourself does not mean you want to change the outside, but to accept the outside because the outside is nothing but our construction we have built. Healing is difficult for many because it requires the acceptance of our responsibility in the Creation.

No need

There is a sense of having lost something. The healing is hampered because you are attached to something that you do not want to leave. This is the cause that hinders healing. It seems easy to say, in effect, because the "thing" that is lost could also be very serious: death, loss of relationships, loss of children in custody (divorced fathers knows that well), loss of sons in womb (for mothers), etc. ...

A reason to healing can take place only giving a sense of the loss, and this effect may occur only by recognizing that you live  without what seems to be lost. Not only ... but there is an extreme point. A necessary step: to recognize that you have no need, and indeed ... we wanted to lose that thing just to say to ourselves that we can live without.

This is the ultimate resistance to healing, here is the fear of taking the blame for the loss, because in this way we can no longer blame it on who (or what) took it away from us. But there is no loss, because there is no need, and there is no guilt.

Pride in healing

The first basic concept of healing is the surrender. They say it also in Alcoholics Anonymous in the first step, "we submit to a force greater than ourselves."

Yeah, but what does that mean? The purpose of these posts is to give advice to follow a path of acceptance when everything seems to go wrong, not just a small part. When everything is to be fixed. And it is here that the trick is present: the realization that your "problem" is not higher than that of others is the first step to realize that you can heal.

That is, until you think your pain is greater than that of others who are healed then you can not really "heal" because you think your pain is bigger and therefore you are fond of it, like a personal hi-score  As those adolescents who delight to write "I'm desperate" on their diary, writing that the girl next door does not love them, that they do need love and they think that their sorrow is the largest of the universe.

Instead, the first step for our own healing lies in a certain sense of humor of the pain itself that, no more personal, becomes a little burden which, if you want, you could be free from today.

Unconditionally change

I want to change for change's sake. I want to heal because I know that this is my way of being, not because I expect that healing will bring to me something different.

The healing process can be sincere or a fake. It 'a fake (and therefore will not work) if you hide a reason; if you thinks that the world has done something against you. In words you say that you want to "heal" but in essence you want revenge on people who apparently had done you wrong.

This is the mechanism that render healing impossible, because you condition it to a victory against the people or situations that, according to you, led you to wish for healing itself. In this respect, healing becomes a fad, like those children who, frustrated after having tried a hundred times to put cubes on a stack, throw everything in the air, cry and want the parent to intervene.

But the problem is fundamental a problem of control: the kid wants to put ten cubes on the stack, it is curiosity about the external world (what if...), in adults the problem is the arrogance to fix everything, handle everything, control everything. And then life teaches that the cubes (people) go about their business, grow, change, die ...

Bottom up

The idea for today is simple: how to begin? This is the real problem. Everyone wants to heal, be better, but it is certain that the first step is the hardest part.

Everyone has the recipe: we must love, to forgive, to let go. Etc... All good and well. But the present situation can be so messy, so desperate that does not allow even a very first step. And yet ... and yet there are people who have begun a healing journey from the bottom, say, from extremely low points, such as after a serious accident, a mutilation or a paralysis, after receiving a sentence of life imprisonment or after the diagnosis of a rare disease, incurable and deadly.

The fact is that the low point from which we start for healing is the low in which we ourselves entered, because a part of us loves this mud. Starting from the bottom means first of all identify the part of us that resists healing, but not in an abstract sense, as in the concrete sense of resistance to let go of a feature of the current situation which, while having a negative aura, however, draws us .

Starting from the bottom is to enter into ourselves, within. The decision to heal is only personal and involves only personal steps. As sad or hopeless the situation is, there is a way. You can.

Saying it in this way seems more like a joke. Each one may have its own vision of the world strong enough to say that there is no solution. She resists. Maybe you do not want to heal. But it is not important. Red is red, even if a person is afraid to admit it.

You will admit it, sooner or later.